Insane to train?

As my friend, Jess told me this weekend, I have not posted anything in a really long time.   Where has the last month gone?!  It’s amazing how quickly an entire week flies by, yet how slowly one single workout can drag out.  Swim practice always goes by fast, but the runs and ESPECIALLY the rides just keep going and going!

A few posts ago, I wrote how much I liked biking.  Let me rephrase that.  I enjoy biking . . . slowly, on flat surfaces . . . slowly.   As expected, I am incredibly slow on the bike.  Especially on hills!  The only thing I am good at is going down hills.  I see many people braking.  Not me – I love flying down those with as much speed as possible.  After all, I am my father’s daughter.  However, that is not the point of the triathlon.  I heard last night that they changed the race course, and it is pretty hilly now.  I. AM. GOING. TO. DIE.  Seriously.   I mean, where are my legs muscles?! I hear that getting the clip less pedals and bike shoes will improve my efficiency and power.  Thanks to my dad, I just ordered them.  My fear of falling (they say it’s when, not if) has finally been overshadowed by the embarrassment of my disgraceful biking abilities

This is week 10 of our training and this is the first week I am hoping to make EVERY single workout.  I know, I know – “Jenn, you haven’t been doing all your workouts?” you ask.  Believe me, I am trying.  And some of my other teammates can attest to this as well.  It’s hard.  Sometimes just finding the time to get in all 9 or 10 workouts in a week is harder than the actual workout itself.  Week 10 is also a milestone because this Saturday is our first group “brick workout”.  That means we bike for 60 minutes, put our bike up and then run for 15 minutes.  You might be thinking, ‘Only running for 15 minutes? That’s easy’.   I have the opposite thought.  If they are calling for only a 15 minute run, then that must be the hardest run I have ever done.  I am more afraid of this 15 minute run, than I am of an hour long run.  This Saturday will be one of the first true tests of how I will fare in September.

Sometimes I wonder what I would be doing every Saturday morning this summer if I were not training.  My friend Kelly got married this past weekend.  As I watched her get her hair and makeup done, and then as Kelly’s mom zipped her dress; I couldn’t help but wonder who is going to zip my dress.  I know that any of my friends or my aunt Joyce would be elated to participate in that tradition.  But it’s not the same.   It will never be the same.  And as much as I look forward to my wedding some day, I am already saddened that my mom won’t be there.   I feel horrible for being jealous that the rest of my friends have had the presence of their mothers on that special day.

This is why I get up at 5 am to jump in a cold pool.  This is why I continue to overcome my fears and keep going up that hill.  This is why I never see my friends who aren't training.  And this is why I have spent every Saturday this summer training to the point of sheer exhaustion.  I would do this every day for the rest of my life if I could get my mom back.

Hopefully our work and fundraising will keep someone else’s mom around for their wedding.